This is just an honest example of the (granted, not that substantial) only remaining stress in my life. Today I went to the local produce place (I won’t name it explicitly, just point out that you can get a gallon (yes, a gallon) of Odwalla orange juice for $6.50).
Anyway, there was just a really attractive woman there. Perfect, really. She was about five feet three wearing a black hoodie and green pockets pants. If you know me well enough you can fill in the rest. If not, you’ll just have to guess. Anyway, I never thought I could go up and talk to her, but one of the characteristics of this place is that if there are more than two people in the store, the aisles are so narrow that you’re constantly in everyone’s way. So as I was making my way towards the register queue, she asked “I’m sorry, are you in line already?”. I think most single guys would see this as an opportunity to say something really clever and maybe (gasp!) start a conversation. But of course, I could only think of a mumbly “Not quite yet” and was on my way. Just another in a long series of “what could have been”s. Even if I see this woman again, I still wouldn’t know the right thing to say in the same situation.
And I can’t imagine it getting any better when I get to Japan, when I don’t even have confidence in the language I’ll be speaking. Perhaps this is why becoming a Zen monk and holing myself up in a monastery once I get there doesn’t seem like such a far-fetched idea.